Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Morning Glory

Morning Glory -- Glory of the Morning

My prayer this morning, from Suzie Eller's book, "Come With Me" 

"Jesus, thank you that I am your beloved disciple. As I sit at your feet, teach me. Let your words spring to life inside of me and take root. May I live what I believe in greater measure as I walk with you."


 I woke up this morning with a rock in my stomach. Oh yes, there is "that," as I remembered what was on my mind when I fell asleep last night. My testing ground of a few weeks ago, when my husband had the flu, came back to gain another level.  He was supposed to be going in for minor surgery this week, but it has been postponed because of a heart abnormality in his pre-op EKG. So we have set up the meetings and more tests with the specialist to find out what is going on.


Last night, hard as I tried, I couldn't keep my mind from wandering down the "what-if" paths.  What if he has heart disease? What if he needs heart surgery? What if he requires care that my weakened state is simply not able to give? 


I managed to lay the thoughts at the feet of Jesus, and drift off to sleep, but the thoughts rose to greet me along with the morning. If I say that my faith rests in Jesus, then why are my feet walking these paths of doubt?  



I've been taking part in an online study with Suzie Eller's book--a first for me!  It's been fun to see other people's postings as we all walk through the book together.  And I've had fun trying a little different approach by art-journaling my thoughts to her questions each week.  This morning as I doodled my way along the page, I realized that my pencil had stretched out the word from the prayer above, "Beloved" so that it looked more like two words than one.  And then it hit me: 


Beloved -- Be-loved



If I want to learn more about what it means to Be HIS Beloved Disciple, then I must let myself be loved by Jesus. If I want to learn more deeply what it means to live what I believe, then I must receive the offer He extends to me still, here in this place of 

not-yet-seeing.



I know that my strength is not enough to carry my husband through his own trials.  It's not even enough to carry myself. But isn't that what this Faith-Walk is really about? We are finding ourselves to be carried when we cannot walk, to be held when we cannot stand, and to be loved when the answers aren't given.



I thought I had a pretty firm grasp on what "living what I believe," looked like before this RA/Fibro Journey began.  But I am discovering that each new trial demands its own place of trusting.  Yesterday's Faith is not enough to sustain Today. But Yesterday's Lessons have laid the foundation for Today's Learning.  So while I may look back and rejoice in God's Faithfulness, I must also look to today to find God's Grace.


And in this Grace-of-Today, my Heavenly Beloved is asking me to let Him hold my Earthly Beloved as well.  Even after almost 38 years of marriage, the growing together is not enough. There are yet more places where our hearts need knitting and patching together.  Sometimes those knittings are seen in beautiful joyful patterns.  And sometimes the patching requires a tearing and a breaking to allow more of the One-ness that God designs for husband and wife.


A few weeks ago, our middle son sent my husband the link for this song.  But God meant it for today, as my prayers are not too weak to be carried to the heart of my Lord.  I will find my Glory-of-the-Morning as my faith looks up to Jesus.






I am linking this week with these great Bloggers:

14 comments:

  1. Wow!!! I love "Be-loved." That is so God to show you that.

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  2. Wow!!! I love "Be-loved." That is so God to show you that.

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    1. Yes, God is so close to whisper to us! I'm glad that He still speaks today!

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  3. Hi Bettie,
    I just love morning glories! My mother planted them when I was growing up and they'd wrap around our porch and remind me of summer.

    I love that your doodles led you to discover a whisper of God to your own heart that only you could recognize (I love that about him!). That's a truth though that speaks to all of us that we are God's beloved and his strength can carry us through difficult seasons of testing and exhaustion so that we can know who is holding on to us. I'm praying your husband's health improves but in the meantime I know you're savoring that you are God's beloved daughter! xo

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    1. Hi Valerie,
      Oh yes, it doesn't feel like summer to me without Morning Glories planted somewhere close! Thank you for your prayers and for the encouragement that you continue to offer to me! I am so glad that God encourages us to let Him speak to us through different kinds of creativity. Blessings and Hugs to you!

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  4. I'm so sorry about your husband, Bettie. I pray it turns out well. Be-loved! I love what God whispered to you! This touched my heart. Not only are we God's beloved children, but we need to allow ourselves to be loved by Him. Thank you for sharing this hope and inspiration with us! Blessings and hugs to you!

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    1. Trudy, I'm so glad that the Lord touched your heart with those thoughts to be loved by Him. I have missed your voice this summer, but I have kept you in my prayers that the Lord would restore and strengthen you! Thank you for your prayers also! What a blessing to be able to pray for each other in these places of word-sharing! **Hugs**

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  5. Bettie - I love how God shared His heart with you through reading His Word and Suzie's book when the little doodle came - Be-loved --- I really like that Be-loved! Such a good word and a great promise too. Stopping in from #TeaAndWordTuesday

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    1. Hi Debbie,
      Thanks for stopping by! I am glad to be "getting to know you" through Meg's link-up! All of these ways that God brings encouragement to us, and lets us hear HIS voice--what a Blessing!

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  6. Beautiful reassurance, Bettie, arising out of a painful place. I love how the Lord whispered words to soothe your aching heart and paved a way for anxiety to yield to faith. So often we fail to let ourselves "Be-loved" fully by God or by others. A guarded heart can refuse admittance to even this most precious thing. These words speak volumes about the lessons we learn in our walk of faith: "We are finding ourselves to be carried when we cannot walk, to be held when we cannot stand, and to be loved when the answers aren't given." Amen, friend! Praying for you and your husband at this time of extra challenge and deep concern. May the days ahead be less stressful than you fear. May you truly sense God's holding power as you let yourself be loved, be held, be comforted and cradled by our loving Lord. Blessings and hugs. Xo

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  7. Hi Joy,
    Thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging thoughts! I have missed your voice during this summer of rest--it's good to "see" you here again! You are so right, that a guarded heart can miss even the most precious love set before it. I want so much to let Jesus open my eyes to see the places where He wants to bring more love. May you be Blessed today! **Hugs**

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  8. Hi Bettie, I have often found great awe in the word, beloved, but the way you shared, be-loved, made me think. It is not easy to walk through these trials, I have no idea what it is to walk through physical ailments. And I have no idea, exactly, the fears and worries that must pop up with your husband's health. I do know that God power manifests itself and is made perfect in our weaknesses. It is an amazing journey and amazing to look back and see what He did through our completely surrendered lives. Thank you for sharing your heart. And thank you for encouraging me at Widow's Manna.

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  9. Hi Bettie, I have often found great awe in the word, beloved, but the way you shared, be-loved, made me think. It is not easy to walk through these trials, I have no idea what it is to walk through physical ailments. And I have no idea, exactly, the fears and worries that must pop up with your husband's health. I do know that God power manifests itself and is made perfect in our weaknesses. It is an amazing journey and amazing to look back and see what He did through our completely surrendered lives. Thank you for sharing your heart. And thank you for encouraging me at Widow's Manna.

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    1. Hi Wendy,
      Thank you for stopping by! I have been so greatly encouraged by your journey of surrender and trust in the Lord. So, yes, I do want to find HIS power manifest in my own place of weakness also. Isn't He so good to meet us right in the middle of our fears and worries? May He bless you today!

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