A Cry from the Desert

I wasn't expecting to take a Blogging Break.  I thought that a slowed down schedule was sufficient to bring me to a place of being able to hear the words of my Lord. But when He gave me the words for my last post several weeks ago, and told me to "Breathe," I heard Him say that I needed a break in order to find that place of restful breathing, where I could find His full Presence filling my lungs. 


Have you heard Him call you to a deeper resting? 

When I finally agreed to the break, I hoped that He would woo me with sweet nothings, and soothe my weary soul with lavish cups of fragrance and bliss.  

Ah, well, our plans for ourselves usually don't quite mesh with those of our Dear Father.
 

Sometimes, the true comfort of God meets us with a word that at first feels harsh and jarring.  Instead of finding an overload of sweet, I found additional pain, with moments of sweet only scattered around the edges. I found a deeper surrender, and a longer trial.  And when the time to rejoin the blog-sphere returned, once again I hoped that He would lift the days of my trial.  

But I knew in my heart that His Timing is not bound by my schedule. 

As I prepared my thoughts for writing, I opened the page for my friend Gayl Wright's post last night, where she shared a beautiful song from Michael Card that had been part of the retreat she attended this past week.  Click here to read her inspiring post.   

May you be blessed as I was, with this song by Michael Card, one that he admits is his own personal favorite:

In the place of resting these past few weeks, these are the words the Lord spoke to my heart. 

He brought me to this desert place; I know it full well.  My genes may have conspired against me, as the autoimmune diseases reared their ugly heads.  My own body may be enforcing the weakness and pain that goes with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. But I am under the care of my Sovereign, and He has determined the number of my days.  So when I hear Him say to me that the restlessness is not going to get me out from under this test, my heart wants to utter its own cry.  My surrenders come with strings attached, and temporary praises for small gifts only serve to breed discontentment under the surface.

                         

I hear the cries of the Israelites as they wandered in the desert, and I echo their murmurings:

 ^“In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, ‘If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.’” Exodus 16:2-3

 

I am longing for change. My whole being rumbles with hunger pangs as I feel myself starving for the nourishment I think I am missing.  And, yet, I knew their stories, and I thought I learned from their mistakes.  I would never test the Lord my God in the ways they did.  Or would I?  When I let the weakness of my days direct my longings elsewhere, when I let the pain in my body direct my gaze away from my true Helper, how am I any different than they?

The desert of pain scorched
And burned . . .
The joints and the marrow
Screamed in response.

And my heart looked away

Longingly . . .
If only You had left me in the lands
Of my youth.

But instead You’ve brought me here

Broken, torn . . .
Where weakness leaves me
Famished.

And in the grumbling I hear

Shadowy lies . . .
Don’t settle here, don’t embrace
Gifts in this place.

For nothing good comes from

The enemy’s camp . . .
He’s blinding my eyes to the Truth
That’s been given.

Only as I rest myself down

Willingly . . .
Can I embrace the heat of the desert
My home for today.

The desert’s the place where I am

Stripped bare . . .
Ready finally to eat what’s been
Lovingly prepared.

Manna from the hand of my

Sovereign . . .

He intimately gives the bread of suffering

To those He adores.

                     --BG

"Moses said, ‘This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Take an omer of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread I gave you to eat in the wilderness when I brought you out of Egypt.’” Exodus 16:32

  

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8

Maybe you have felt the sorrow also? Does comfort feel a long way off?

Our Father has a beauty that He wants to give us,

right here, in the very center of our desert places.

I am linking this week with:

Barbie Swihart, #Glimpses

Jennifer Dukes Lee, #TellHisStory