Love or Self?

February, the month of LOVE, and I could easily rush through it all. Think that I've been here, done that, the years have proven timeless for me, and Love becomes easy and same, day after day.


But here it is, week 5 in this online book study of C.S. Lewis' Till We Have Faces, and my heart is shattered by the conviction that

the depth of LOVE can never truly be plumbed.

What have I really learned about loving

and giving away my own rights?

Midpoint through this book, and things have come crashing down around Orual and her sister Psyche.  What seemed like love to Orual has shown itself to be something deeper and uglier. When Orual is confronted with Psyche's choice to live out her days in a place that is incomprehensible to Orual, she makes a choice to try to "rescue" Psyche for her own good.  But Psyche wants no rescue, and she cannot convince Orual that her choices are her own to make. Desperate to have Psyche back in her own world, Orual does the unthinkable and threatens Psyche that if she doesn't leave it all to come with her, then Orual would be willing to go to the awful depths of taking Psyche's life and then her own.

My heart was crushed at the awful plans that Orual laid out.

But a deeper conviction pierced through me when I read Psyche's response:

"Oh, Orual--to take my love for you, because you know it goes down to my very roots and cannot be diminished by any other new love, and then to make of it a tool, a weapon, a thing of policy and mastery, an instrument of torture--I begin to think I never knew you."

How could Orual take that love, and use it in such an awful act of manipulation?  I could not comprehend the depth of her will. And yet . . .

Have I not

sullied the Name of Love

when I have asked for it

on my own terms?

Have I not

misused my own desires

to label my Dear One's

needs as theirs

when mine

were the answers

I sought? 

What hope

is there 

for one such as I?

How can Love

ever be

full and free

selfless

and pure?

The Words from my Lord have been spoken so often that they can become one more way to rush through a season that has become artificial and man-made. But God's Words do not become LESS TRUE by our own misuse. No, His Love becomes even more pure  when placed against the starkness of our own selfish desires. 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:1-7, NIV 


Only Jesus can transform my own loving
to look more like His.
Only Jesus has fully known
true selfless love.

And when my heart is stirred to
taste TRUE LOVE
then His Spirit
is the One who is
doing the stirring
within me. 



Will you join me and ask for
His Love
to inhabit our hearts?

May our Lord Jesus
flood the corners
of selfishness that still lurk
hidden away,
and show us the way
to love our Dear Ones
with His 
Heart of Grace.

Oh Glorious Freedom
The Love that floods
From Jesus
brings with it
His Glimpse into the Beauty
that is His Picture
of our Dear Ones.
  

If you are interested in reading any of the posts pertaining to the book study of C.S. Lewis' Till We Have Faces, you find an index to the series by clicking here.

 

I am linking today with:

Suzie Eller, #LiveFreeThursday