Day 12: Waiting as I Listen

I stood at the doorway with my other Fifth Grade friends, palms sweaty with excitement, arms eagerly clutching the shiny new case I had been given.  Summer Band, and the chance to play an instrument had me wound up in a ball of nerves.  When would the Director open the door?  We listened to our teeth chatter as we tried to imagine how difficult this new instrument would prove to be.  I came home from that first day so excited that I practiced the three notes I had learned for hours!  Bless my dear mother, who never said a word, but just let me play (read screech and squawk)  my new clarinet to my heart's content.

I stood at another doorway, decades later, palms sweaty with dread this time. The bank had issued a note of foreclosure on our only family car.  How had we landed in this spot? We had obeyed God and changed our family's direction, expecting blue skies for the journey He promised, but nothing had gone as we planned.  God sent the money that time, miraculously, through the gift of a friend, but our season of learning to trust God thru the hard continued for many a month after that threshold was crossed. 

 The doorways that

are chosen

by God

lead us to 

places new 

and unknown.

We find ourselves looking

and listening

But are we ready to

WAIT

when the doorway 

feels dark and forbidding?

 I find myself at another doorway today.  One I would rather not be standing next to: yet another Doctor, for yet another consultation. It feels to me like the doors are being thrust upon me, against my will, and for no good purpose or reason.  One more health issue, one more hospital bill to explain to my insurance.

And yet, if God is the Captain of my Journey, then He has something to say about this place of my landing. The doorways are not beyond HIS vision for me. And there must be a WORD that He has for me here:

Proverbs 8:34 (NIV) Blessed are those who listen to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.

Isn't it all too easy to become focused on the room beyond?

Do our eyes strain to see what lies in the dim recesses?

What if we strained to see God's movement instead?

And what if we trained our ears to listen for His voice at the

doorway?

There have been so many doorways over the course of this 56 year life I've been given.  I venture to say that you have faced a few yourself.  On those times when I have made a conscious choice to slow and wait and watch for God's movement, the doorway has taken on a different appeal for me.  Oh, but it's those times when I think I know what the doorway means--those are the times that once over the threshold, I want to turn back and make a hasty exit.

If I have learned anything on this journey, it's that I have learned SO LITTLE, and have so MUCH MORE yet to learn.

The Scripture says that I am 

BLESSED 

when I choose to listen for His voice at the doorway, 

when I choose to see the doorway

as belonging to Him.   

Is it possible that HE will transform this doorway,

even today,

if I choose to watch for Him there?

Psalm 84:10 (NIV) Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. 

What about you? Are you faced with a doorway leading to an unknown room?

What if God could transform your doorway as you watch for Him there?




This is Day 12 for the #Write31Days Challenge,
I am so blessed by your travels with me as together we 
seek after #31Days of Listening with Chronic Illness.

Click here for the Series Index 

Ok, not gonna lie
This last diagnosis threw me for a loop
Labeled my day with words I cannot utter
And overwhelmed my soul.

So I am linking up today with Bonnie Gray's Blog over at TheFaithBarista, to say that, yes,
I do want to learn more of what Jesus meant when He spoke these words in Matthew 26
"My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."

He felt overwhelming sorrow.  And He asked those first Jesus-Followers to stay with him there.
I don't know about you, but I don't like staying in the overwhelming place! 

The pains come and go for me.  When they fall aside, I delight in the laughter of my little Grandbabies.  I want to stay in the carefree place.  When the days are light, I make my plans and dream about creating gifts again. 

But when the Doctor pronounces the Fibromyalgia word, even though I am the one to breach the possibility, my heart stops. 

Not my physical heart.  No, my spiritual heart. ....  NO. 

No, Jesus, I told you I am tired! don't want to WAIT any longer.  I don't want to STAY and face the overwhelming labels set before me. 

But how can I not stay here with Him?  He, who stayed until the nails pierced his hands, and bled out His last for me?

He tasted the overwhelming. 

And He broke all the bonds that sin had invented.  He stayed until

Until the price was paid for me.  And my sins' bonds are broken now too.  I will find His LIFE.

But only if I wait....

Psalm 62:5-8
"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."

Wait..... Stay......

                                              A single Sensitive Fern, awakening at spring

Here's the link for TheFaithBarista  #OneWordLent
http://www.faithbarista.com/