The Sundial

"Let others tell of storms and showers,
I’ll only mark your sunny hours."    

   

I have always loved sundials.  Maybe it's because my Grandma loved that particular sundial quote, and spoke of it in her writings. I have a treasured collection of her stories that she wrote in the quiet evenings after her long days of farming. So I googled "Sun dial mottoes and quotes" and found a list from "Hoyt’s New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations"

"True as the needle to the pole,
Or as the dial to the sun."

--Barton Booth—Song.

 

"Give God thy heart, thy service, and thy gold;
The day wears on, and time is waxing old."  

--Sun Dial in the Cloister-garden of Gloucester Cathedral.

 

"If o’er the dial glides a shade, redeem
The time for lo! it passes like a dream;
But if ’tis all a blank, then mark the loss
Of hours unblest by shadows from the cross."
        --On a Sun Dial in a churchyard at Shenstone, England. 

 

As a child I was fascinated that time could actually be marked without a clock! Funny how the childlike brain works sometimes . . .

And yet, I am making an effort to keep my mind and heart soft, to be more childlike in sensing the wonder of things all around me,

to sense God's hand at work in places where I might have missed Him if my eyes weren't kept seeing.



Should we only mark the sunny hours then?  What if there is a joy to be found in the shadows as well?  What if there is a Blessing to be had when the shadow of the cross marks our days?


I can look back on days when I felt the dark would never end, but it was in the dark-seeing that lessons were learned that sunlight could never have taught me . . .  When the curriculum that we had spent so many hours creating didn't sell, and when the printing business that we had gathered fell apart at the seams, our family was carried by a God who never left us alone. When the relationships were torn asunder, and when the church that we had loved fell apart, our view of God's love was suddenly stretched beyond the easy phrase memorized and spoken by rote.

Even now, when the fatigue or the pain come ready to swallow my nights and steal my rest, the peace that only Jesus brings teaches me to wait upon Him in a stillness that is new to me.

"Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings."

--Psalm 63:7 

 

So, should we mark only the sunny hours,  or should we mark the shadow as well?  Can we take the risk to embrace them both?  He has a purpose for us in the shade and in the sun. 

One of my Grandma's stories tells about living through The Great Depression, and the hardness that was endured.  She ended with this thought:

"The people who lived then have forgotten about the long days of hard work without modern conveniences. Like the sundial, folks only remember the happy, sunny days of long ago. I also remember the kindness of so many people who made 1930 a time to remember." 

Singing in the shadows, or dancing in the sun, it is the kindness of the heart that opens the way to see God's working in our days.

  

This week I am linking up with these great bloggers:

 Meg Weyerbacher #TeaAndWordTuesday

 Jennifer Dukes Lee #TellHisStory

Suzie Eller #LiveFreeThursday 

 

 

Go Out With Joy

Isaiah 55:12

12 years . . . 

That's how long we've lived in Wisconsin.

First-time home-owners.

My husband joined in with the scores of suburban commuters, on that long-ago day in August, 2004.

You see, for the other 26 years of our marriage, we often lived on the edge.  College gave way to Children's Pastoring which gave way to Self-Employment which gave way to Temp-ing which gave way to traveling with a Drama Ministry . . . and life was seldom . . . predictable.

After all,  hadn't God given us Isaiah 55 as one of our Life-Verses, fresh out of high school?   I, for one, was eager to sign up for Excitement.  I was the quiet one, yet I longed to be part of a Grand Adventure. And if you know my husband . . . you know the adventure part of our relationship comes from him, and not from me. (Think Roller-Coaster Theme Parks!)

I grew accustomed to those years filled with adrenaline, and expected my life would stay that way. But of course, God shakes up our man-made ideas of structure, even if they include a view toward "non-structure!"  And I knew that when my husband agreed "to sign-up with corporate America" as a way of living, a great deal of surrender had occurred in the heart of my adventure-loving-man.  

The first Christmas we lived in Wisconsin, I gave him a set of photos with that Isaiah 55 verse hand-lettered on the mat.  I was acknowledging that I understood the irony of "going out" only to settle in behind that desk.  

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. 'For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8

Truly, there can be no Joyous-Going-Out and Peaceful-Coming-In, unless we have surrendered to the Sovereign Will of our God, who does not move in the ways that men might move. His thoughts are not like ours.

But oh, how much higher and sweeter and wiser are His ways!

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths beyond tracing out!" Romans 11:33

In this very place, God set aside a home for the quiet that I would need, and the beauty that my husband would seek as well.  Because "Going out" doesn't always require a physical movement. Sometimes the going is by way of the heart, by diving in to the depths of the riches that Jesus wants to plant in that softened soul soil.

As I watched my husband pushing the limits on that stresss-test-treadmill today, and I heard the Cardiologist say the words "Good!" I realized I had been holding my breath for a very long time.  Because this man has cared for me through my own weakness and pain in a way that I could not have envisioned before the Corporate-Surrender time. And my own trials had softened this heart of mine to be ready to take up the waiting, if this was the path required.  

But we rejoice over the report that the valves in his heart are sufficient for what is required! And as we prepare now for the original surgery to be rescheduled, we can say with open eyes that sometimes a new place happens in the place where you've been all along.

"Instead of thornbushes, pine trees will grow, and instead of briers, myrtles will grow; and they will be a sign for the LORD, and an everlasting name that will not be cut off." Isaiah 55:13

When we first moved into this home, we spent months clearing away thornbushes and briers.  Little did we know that God was clearing away the tangles that had rooted in our hearts.

  He was preparing the way, then, for this Season in life, today. For the hearts that are HIS, we bear HIS everlasting name.

I'm linking up this week with:

#TeaAndWordTuesday Meg Weyerbacher

#TellHisStory Jennifer Dukes Lee

#LiveFreeThursday Suzie Eller

  

 

Grace upon Grace

"Trials must and will befall,

But with humble faith to see

LOVE inscribed upon them all,

This is Happiness to me."

--W. Cowper

I think I may have started too many books this summer.  But yet, is that even possible?  In this RA/fibro-fog life, my mind seems to crave more words than normal.  As if filling up the foggy areas with one more dose of Holy might just help me remember a little longer. 

So the started-but-not-yet-finished stack of books on my Kindle and on my table has me feeling like a child-at-Christmas-time again. So much JOY just waiting for me to partake.  But there was a time when unfinished books left me in a state of stress because each one was just one more task that I was not finishing on time.  How did I move from a place of stress to one of joy?  I want to know because maybe there is a lesson to be learned here, to apply to other areas of my life.

What if I could see LOVE written all over my unfinished chores, and weakened states?  What if those trials became Grace-just-waiting-to-happen as I changed my place of viewing? I have prayed so often, "Jesus I need your mercy and your grace here!" but what if the Grace is stacked up on the table, already waiting for me to partake?

Instead of bemoaning my lack of baking and cooking strength-- what if I saw my daily Crock-pot-Meal as Grace given for this day?

Instead of staring at the weeds overtaking the paths through my little front-yard woods trail--what if I saw those rugged areas as my very own Grace-filled-nature-preserve set in front of my eyes?

And instead of dreary-filled-thoughts of slowed-down-days--what if I tasted the Grace of time given to savor Jesus, alone with Him?

"For out of His fullness (the superabundance of His grace and truth) we have all received grace upon grace (spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing, favor upon favor, and gift heaped upon gift.)" John 1:16--The Amplified Version

I have been returning to Joy Lenton's book, Seeking Solace, again and again lately.  I even quoted a portion of this poem to my counselor last week:

Set Me Free

"Set me free

I no longer want 

to be ensared

by the chains 

of my past, or

held fast by fear

for the future

Set me free

to fly uncaged

in the current

of your grace,

releasing all I am

and can be

into your embrace."

As I left my counselor's office, she said to me, "When I think of you now, I'm going to picture you floating in a pool of Grace." So, flying or floating, there is a freedom that I seek.

Instead of gripping the past with hands too weak to hold on any longer--my Jesus has gifted me with the Grace to open my hands and receive HIS JOY,  enough for this day.

The rough-edged nature trail as viewed from my deck.

I am linking this week with some wonderful bloggers over at #TellHisStory  with Jennifer Dukes Lee,
 and  #TeaAndWord  with Meg Weyerbacher  and #ChronicFridayLinkup  at Being Fibro Mom. Won't you join me?

 

 

Except Ye Become Like Little Children

She walked in the door and ran over to me, her blond curls dancing along the way.  Before her parents had barely said their "Hello, We made it!" she was on a mission to place an envelope in my hand.  "Grandma, I made this for you! Open it, open it!"  Her younger sister echoed the words, "Yes, Grandma, open it!"  


My hands unfolded the delicate tissue, and I read the words that my little Granddaughter had so painstakingly traced, as she lifted my heart with her words of love:  "Grandma, I know all about your sickness and I pray for you every night!"  The hugs overwhelmed me, while her younger sister again echoed the words, "Yes, I pray for you too, Grandma!"


So the tissue-paper-letter sits on my table today, alongside a beautiful card of encouragement that arrived in the mail yesterday from a sweet Sister-in-Christ.  Words swim in my heart from another new-found friend who lives hours away from here, yet tells me that his entire church has been praying for me.


Was it only last week that I felt all alone in this journey?  Mere days ago that I whispered my failures to Jesus, my weakness to find His Joy?


He never abandons us, oh I know that truth, but my own heart seems so quick to abandon Him.  I feel the sting of being cut-off from His people, and so I allow the cutting-off to extend to my own choosing as well.  "Not now," I hear myself say, "I have no strength left to talk myself into being cheerful."


So, He brings the cheerful to me.  He brings the Blessings to us, to His Body, when He hears the weakest among us whisper the faintest of cries.  

 "Hear my voice, Lord, when I cry out! Be gracious to me and answer me."    --Psalm 27:7

Sometimes He brings it even when we think we cannot face the weight of one more day walking the path of Hard. 

"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, because I will praise Him once again, since His presence saves me and He is my God."

--Psalm 43:5

And sometimes we need the voice of a child to restore our hearts to that place of trust where our faith begins.

"He (Jesus) called a little child to Him, and placed the child among them. And He said, 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven'."

Oh! May we ever let Him keep our hearts soft, and find that child-like place of Wonder and Awe of our God's Love. 

Linking this week at Jennifer Dukes Lee, #TellHisStory.

Hind's Feet on High Places

 

"He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;

he causes me to stand on the heights."

 --Psalm 18:33

I love these rock formations in central Wisconsin.  They seem to rise up out of nowhere, oddly placed amidst the rolling farmland that surrounds the main highway through Wisconsin.  They've become a sort of landmark for me, traveling this road so often through the years.  The first time I saw them I was a young Bride with my Husband going home to visit our parents. Now we are the parents driving these same roads to visit our adult children.  After I was first given my copy of the book, "Hind's Feet on High Places," by Hannah Hurnard, these towers of rocky cliffs came to represent for me a picture of what the main character may have faced in her journey to the High Places. 

Perhaps you know the story?  Written decades ago, it remains a most popular allegory of the journey of "Much Afraid," the young girl in the service of the Great Shepherd. She has a disfigured face and a lame, painful gait, but longs to escape the fearful life she has led, and travel to the beautiful High Places of her Great Shepherd.  When she expresses her longing to Him, He tells her that He's been waiting to hear her say that, and laughs at the sheer joy of the beautiful transformation that He has planned for her.

However, before she can reach the High Places, she will encounter many trials along the way. And in this Current Season of life, with days that include my own painful gait, I have sensed that it was time for a revisit to the Land of Much Afraid.  Don't you love those kind of books, the ones that speak something new each time you read them?

The tears have been ready at the surface, as I've walked with Much Afraid this week.  Each new chapter sparks a new comparison with my own journey.  But it was in the heat of the desert that my heart found a song today.  For in a "lonely corner behind a wall, she came upon a little golden-yellow flower growing all alone."  Much Afraid discovers that a water pipe with one tiny hole had allowed just enough water drops to fall onto a seed that had fallen there, and caused it to grow. When she asked the flower her name, this was the answer she heard:

"Behold me! My name is Acceptance-with-Joy."

 

I have read this story so many times, and I have studied and journaled along with it even.  So I was not surprised when this little flower spoke to Much Afraid.  But our hearts do not have to be surprised to be awakened.  Sometimes the whisper has been echoing in our hearts while our eyes remain closed.  Only a flutter in response will stir our Great Shepherd to bring the daylight and the water to those seeds he planted so long ago.  

I began this blog almost 5 months ago, with the first post speaking to what my heart needed:  Acceptance, of where my journey was taking me. And still today, my Shepherd is watering that seed, and causing it to grow.  He is the one who planted the seed, the seed of HIS own likeness. I may have inherited the genetic code to develop some of those same illnesses that my Mom or my Dad also bore.  But in the same way that they are now beautifully transformed into HIS perfect likeness as they take JOY with Him in Heaven, I too am being transformed into the image that my Shepherd has planned for me.  


The trials and the desert heat may seem at first glance to be consuming all hope of life away from me.  But just as that little flower proved to Much Afraid, the Shepherd's Life cannot be stopped.  For those of us following the Shepherd to His High Places there will be an awakening and a transformation.  We are being transformed!  And because of HIS great Love, we can say,

"Behold us!  We are Acceptance with Joy!"

 

 

Linking this week with some beautiful bloggers over at #TellHisStory

The First Post with RA

Getting out of the car for a short walk along the shores of Lake Michigan:  What a Treat!! And something I certainly do not take for granted anymore.  Pain and weakness have prevented me from walking for most of this winter.

It's been a little over a year since I was first diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  This blog is the place where I am hoping to share my Journey with Jesus through the Air of This Changing Season.  Hopeful I strive to be, however the days have their own labels, and sometimes I am taken to places that are beyond my choosing.  Pain-and-weakness is certainly not the path I would have looked for.

 

My "Rheumy" (as I've learned the shortened term for my Specialist,) continues to search for the right medication cocktail that will put this disease into remission.  Will medications #7 and #8 be the combination that is the winning number?  Whether remission comes or not, I have finally begun the process of accepting that my life will never be the same.  Is there anyone else struggling to come that place of acceptance? 

My Scripture Passage for the day says:

"But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may You shelter them,
That those who love Your name
May exult in You.
For it is You who blesses the
Righteous man, O Lord,
You surround him with favor as with a shield."   --Psalm 5:11,12

A place of Joy is to be found in taking refuge in the Lord.  And, being in that refuge--Is that where I will find the acceptance to embrace this Season too?

I pray that you will find Him too, as you search the paths of your own journey.